Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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