I cannot find my penis.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize