My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize