Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
