im having a threesome with these popsicles
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
