everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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