my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
