I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
