I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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