There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
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