Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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