you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
