I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
