Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We talked him into tasing himself.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Im part way to drunk.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
