cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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