Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
