yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
