I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
