I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I think my moral compass just broke
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