Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
