This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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