Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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