You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
