is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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