i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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