I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
