To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
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He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I need moral support for this bender
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
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Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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