If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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