toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
