She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
