we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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