If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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