I murdered the dance floor call the cops
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
