No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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