none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
