Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
