honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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