Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Randomize
