Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize