Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
