Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
