im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
