Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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