Someone shit on the floor
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
