i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize