I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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