Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
