im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
They took my balls.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
