How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
