the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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