Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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