she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
