He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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