I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
