Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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