Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
