I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
