Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
