dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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